Want to know the real reason the Scots voted SNP? It was our property laws they were afraid of. Knowing how impossible it is to exchange one house for another south or the border, they feared an invasion of intelligence seeking Sassenachs crying out for Completion.
So If you are living in Scotland, look away now. And try not to be smug.
Here’s a few tips for the rest of you from the UK’s top property pundits. They’ve been on the front line longer than you have, so respect.
There is so much you can do to increase the value of your property. And with ‘distant horizon’ thinking and endless time to spare while your agent tries to find a buyer for you, why not? Don’t waste it looking for another house. First things first.
- Create a feeling of space. Remove the lounge door. (First impressions count and the UK has the smallest houses in Western Europe. The only upwardly mobile Europeans in smaller accommodation are living in tents in Calais or Dunkirk.)
- Make living areas appear larger. Remove a sofa and/or a dining table. (Think positive. You’ll be half moved already!)
- Park an expensive motor in the driveway. (Use your own judgement here. If you live in a two-bed bungalow the buyer may think you stole it.)
- Install an exposed feature fireplace. (If there is no chimney, a nice fake electric fire will do.)
- De-personalise the house by removing personal effects. (Buyers want to be able to imagine their own dirty linen basket in the bathroom, not yours).
- Remove items from built-in wardrobes to make them seem roomier. (This may require a little self-sacrifice on your part but keep your eye on the prize. Charity shops are always grateful for donations.)
- Strip the floorboards in at least one downstairs room. (Concrete floors may be a challenge here. Do your best.)
- Clear the kitchen of items like coffee machines, toasters and bread makers. (This makes your bench space look larger.)
- Bake fresh bread and brew fresh coffee. (This was easier to do before you cleared the bench space in the kitchen. Improvise.)
- Remove artwork and family photos. (See Tip 5 above. Be careful to leave any that are hiding flaws in your otherwise perfect paintwork).
- Buy new brighter lightbulbs. (Some of you will have your reasons to ignore this one.)
- Remove other furniture and bulky items. (Use your discretion here. Beds are always useful and can enhance a bedroom.)
- Install an integrated sound system. (The reason for this is not clear. It seems a bit “yesterday” but what do I know?)
- Buy flowers and put them on display. (If you can find a table to put them on.)
- There is no number 15 but there should be. But this being a land of pet lovers, how could I possibly comment?
Here’s the pay-off. It’s estimated each square foot of floor space freed up could be worth an extra £238. Plus, removing bulky items pushes the sale price up as much as 11 percent.
Who would have thought it? You learn something new every day. And we have to thank Big Yellow Self Storage for conducting the survey. We owe you guys.
Next Week. You have a buyer. The easy bit is over. I’ll tell you what to do next.
Border Lines 